Life Matters

Let us briefly recap what we looked at in Chapters 5 and 6 before we continue. In Chapter 5 we looked at the fact that our value is directly derived from the one that gives us life. The original source point is our Father in heaven. In Chapter 6 we saw that life flows through His submissive Son so that the Father’s authority is always recognized by the Son who sets the example, for the entire universe, of how to connect to the life of the Father.

We also saw that this heavenly model is replicated on earth through the husband and wife relationship. The wife’s submission establishes the authority of her husband who is God’s designated channel for the life source. Her submission is also the vital example to her children of how to stay connected to the channel of life flowing through the father. As the father represents the source of life, he is also the source or seed of blessing and value. Prov 17:6 reflects this fact when it says:

Pro 17:6 Children's children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father.

We looked at some examples of a child’s yearning for their father, here is two examples once again.

Paul wrote

Dad, I miss you everyday and just wish we could talk again. Losing you has made me question who I am and where I'm going. Can I be the Dad you were? You were the best and just wish you could have lived longer to see my accomplishments and share in that joy. Even a year later I find myself wanting to pick up the phone to call you. I love you.

Daddy’s Princess wrote:

Hi Daddy, I hope you're proud of me! I'm really happy and things are going well in life. Work is a little overwhelming but I guess that's what I signed up for. I think I'm doing all the right things and I hope you approve. Miss you. Love you always, Princess.

In the example of Paul, we see the loss of his father made him question who he was; the father-child relationship directly impacts our sense of identity. We also see Paul’s desire for his father to see his accomplishments, along with Daddy’s Princess hoping and wishing that her Dad approves of what she is doing. In a relational system, accomplishments mean nothing without a father’s or mentor’s approval. It is the acknowledgment and approval of the father that makes the accomplishment valuable because only a father can bestow value on something since he is the life source for the child.

a. The Origin of Worthlessness

When Satan rejected his heavenly Father as the life source and rejected the divine example of submission by God’s Son, Satan destroyed any concept of relational value. Because he was created by God his heart still yearned for the Father to acknowledge him and approve of his efforts but in his mind he had forged a path that stated that the life source originated with himself and therefore he would have to manufacture his own value. He would have to continually prove to himself that he was valuable. The intensity to prove himself is heightened by the fact that he will never again hear the Father say “This is my beloved son, whom I love.”[1] And so the cycle of worthlessness was born: The constant battle of yearning for approval from the true life source and then desperately trying to fill that yearning with personal achievements. This places a person in a position where they must continually validate their existence. We saw a little of this war in the life of WR in Chapter 1. Listen again to what he said before he died:

“Help, I'm scared. Oh, I'm scared! I don't want to lose”

“Afraid to talk in class . . . Must impress others. Need to prove myself”

Fear!! Put there by yourself. . . You can't do it?

Don't stagnate, go forward, improve

“Need to prove myself, Must impress others.” This is the direct legacy of rejecting God’s life source system and believing that value comes from what you achieve. In summary, Satan is the author of worthlessness. He is the source of it and when Adam and Eve rejected God’s relational system, they inherited this worthlessness and then passed it on to the whole human race.

Satan’s antidote for worthlessness is hard work and then pride in what you have done. This is why there is no rest for the wicked as the Bible says because you must push yourself constantly, prove yourself and then gloat and boast of your achievements, your position, your education or whatever it is that you find value in other than a direct relationship with your heavenly Father. No one can win all the time. No one can be on top all the time and so life is dotted with moments of pride and satisfaction with long periods of striving and many episodes of feeling useless. We might see this cycle working like this.

The world is littered with evidence that it has embraced an inherent life source system that breeds worthlessness. Every minute that passes in the world today yields 37 attempts by people to kill themselves,[2] because they feel that dying is better than living and that they failed at proving their value to themselves and others.

b. Impact of Inherent Life System Model on Family Relationships and Structure

It is critical to understand that the words spoken to Eve in the garden by the serpent radically altered the relationship between Adam and Eve. In the Bible system, Eve had received all the ingredients for life from Adam and then put together by God. This fact created a relational dependency for Eve towards Adam. The second factor to consider is that if Adam planned to have children and build a family nation – he needed someone who understood him and yet provided for him an example of submission that would be transferred to his children. This submission would then enable the children to receive his blessing and give them the seeds of value. Adam could not build a relational family without Eve.

The words of the serpent broke Eve’s sense of dependence on Adam. By believing the lie “you shall not surely die” she no longer needed the channel of blessing that flowed through him. Eve’s sense of identity had shifted from a position of submission to Adam with relational equality, to a position exactly the same as Adam. Instead of value flowing down the channel from God, the value came from within her. Any advice coming from Adam could be seen as an attack on her personal sovereignty and a reminder that she needed help, rather than wise counsel offered for her benefit.

We need to remember that this concept of inherent life is a lie from Satan and Eve still emotionally needed the blessing and leadership of her husband. The conflict between her thoughts and feelings would cause confusion between a sense of need for Adam and a belief in independence from him; confusion that many men are familiar with today, typically called “go away, come here” syndrome.

Another impact of the lie on the relationship is that Adam has now lost the one person who can act as the key to receiving his blessing. Eve no longer would act in a submissive role but would demand negotiation on every decision and maintain the right to second guess any decision that Adam made. This example of Eve would be closely watched by her children and Eve would then struggle with her children demanding negotiation on every decision and maintaining the right to “second guess” her.

As children look at the parent’s relationship and subconsciously evaluate it, they learn that equality means position and power. The concepts of dependence, submission and blessing are skewed, confused and muted; the glory of children is undermined.

Another impact for the relationship is that when Adam listened to the voice of his wife and ate the fruit based on her suggestion, she in fact became the head of the new world order. Just as Adam had been the visible head for God’s channel of blessing, Eve had become the head of Satan’s new kingdom. It is noteworthy that in many religions and cultures, the feminine is seen as the higher deity.[3] In responding to Eve’s suggestion, Adam had forfeited his position of leadership and handed it to Eve. As this new system is based on the visible display of power rather than the invisible receiving of blessing, the woman would become an object of worship and veneration in many respects for the man. The visible veneration can be linked to the male obsession with pornography, the obsession of the female form.

But like Eve, Adam is under the influence of a lie and still emotionally needs the respect of his wife. This veneration for his wife versus need for respect from her can cause males to switch anywhere from from a placid child figure to an aggressive dominate, defensive man.

With the loss of value from his heavenly Father, and the loss of respect from his wife, Adam is extremely vulnerable to being very defensive about the decisions he makes. A simple helpful suggestion from a wife to her husband who is feeling the need for respect could open a door to Armageddon. On the other hand, a man who feels the need to submit to his wife’s leadership could leave his wife feeling frustrated because he is waiting for her to always take the lead. The combinations of negative experiences that arise from this confusion brought about by the lie are seen played out in the tragedy of human history. This so-called simple little lie about having life in yourself has decimated God’s family kingdom principles and if it was not for God’s foresight of this situation, the human race would have exterminated itself in this confusion, worthlessness and battle for control.

As it is, this confusion leaves both men and women feeling worthless, vulnerable, prideful, controlling and selfish. I think most people can testify to this fact. The figures on depression and suicide also punctuate this point.

The punch line of this chapter is that:

1. A shift in a belief of where life comes from radically alters our identity.
2. This shift in identity breaks the vital channel of blessing that brings us value.
3. It also confuses the God given roles of men as blessing/seeders and women as submissive/nurturers.

We will shortly explore the Bible record of how this confused family structure has played out in human history and what sort of family structures have emerged under this system, but before we do this we need to observe God’s response to Adam and Eve entering Satan’s kingdom.