Life Matters

a. The Glory of Children is Their Father

It must have been an amazing sight to see. A young chef was running down the corridors of the hospital bursting with joy and calling loudly to everyone that could hear, “It’s a boy, it’s a boy!”

That is how my mother described my father’s reaction to my birth. There is something deeply profound about this little otherwise insignificant event. I know that my coming into the world was greatly desired by my father and that my birth brought him joy. That knowledge in conjunction with continued evidences of this, have laid down the fabric of my self-perception and importance in the world I live in. The continued evidences are found in a few old black and white photos that I treasure. The first one is my father holding me in his arms when I was 3 weeks old.

There is something quite elemental in this picture; something essential and satisfying. It was from this man that the seed of my life came. In human terms my life source came from my father and there is an unspoken bond between us that goes far deeper than any other relationship I have on earth, in respect to who I am as a person.

Some time ago I came across a website that in some ways captured the sense of my connection with my father. The website was called “Imissmydad.com.” On this website was posted hundreds of statements of people who had lost their father and were trying to deal with the loss of no longer being able to speak to him. Here are some sample statements:

Noelle wrote:

Dear Daddy, today I am 30 & you are not here - no hug, no kiss, no birthday wish this year. No smile, no eyebrow raised, no singing me a song. I can't believe the time has past, I can't believe you're gone. I love you; always have; always will.

Paul wrote:

Dad, I miss you everyday and just wish we could talk again. Losing you has made me question who I am and where I'm going. Can I be the Dad you were? You were the best and just wish you could have lived longer to see my accomplishments and share in that joy. Even a year later I find myself wanting to pick up the phone to call you. I love you.

Michael wrote:

Dad, it was quiet on thanksgiving today not having you around us. I felt an emptiness in me and I know everyone else felt the same. It has been 4 months but feels like it has been longer.

Daddy’s Princess wrote:

Hi Daddy, I hope you're proud of me! I'm really happy and things are going well in life. Work is a little overwhelming but I guess that's what I signed up for. I think I'm doing all the right things and I hope you approve. Miss you. Love you always, Princess.

Anonymous:

I miss you so much Papasan. I want to talk to you, hear your voice, and tell you how the kids are doing. It's only been 6 weeks but I feel some days it’s been forever… Why couldn't the doctors do more, why didn't I tell you every day that I loved you so much. Somebody help me in this time of need!!!!!!!!!!!

The breaking of a father-child relationship reveals for many the real trauma that one experiences when their father dies. Over and over is revealed the importance of knowing a father approves of the child and the desire to tell a father what is happening in their life and how they are feeling.

This life experience is expressed in Scripture through the following Bible passage:

Pro 17:6 Children's children are the crown of old men, And the glory of children is their father.

The key word connection concerning children and their father is glory. Let’s look more closely at how the Bible uses this word in other places to get a sense of its meaning.

Jer 9:23,24 Thus says the Lord: "Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, Let not the mighty man glory in his might, Nor let the rich man glory in his riches; 24 But let him who glories glory in this, That he understands and knows Me, That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight," says the Lord.

The word glory used here denotes beauty, splendor, jewels it can also be denoted as something to boast about. In a direct sense the word glory symbolizes value.

We could easily read the above passage “Let not the wise man feel valuable because of his wisdom, let not the mighty man feel valuable because of his might nor let the rich man feel valuable because of his riches; But let him who feels valuable, feel valuable in this, That he understands and knows Me, That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight," says the Lord.”

Here is the wisdom of Proverbs 17:6; the value of a child is bound up in the heart of their father. Why is this? The father represents the source of life and establishes the vital Biblical principal of value through relationships of origin. The earthly father is an image and symbol of the heavenly Father.

When we consider that all love and life come from God, it should not be too difficult to see that our earthly fathers are channels of blessing to allow the love of God to be poured into our hearts; to develop a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives. This is the primary purpose of a father, to not only pass on physical life, but also to pass on emotional and spiritual life simply by being there for his children and offering them regular reminders of how important they are to him.

b. My Beloved Son

God demonstrated this fundamental principle of value coming through a life source outside of oneself by the events that transpired at the baptism of Jesus when He was here on earth.

Matt 3:16,17 When He had been baptized, Jesus came up immediately from the water; and behold, the heavens were opened to Him, and He saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting upon Him. 17 And suddenly a voice came from heaven, saying, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."

The context of this event is very important. Jesus is about to commence His life’s work as the Messiah. He will encounter great opposition, develop many enemies, receive many negative reports about Himself and His work and finally be taunted and mocked while dying on a cross, seeing little evidence that His work held much significance. Further to this, immediately after His baptism, Jesus would meet face to face the great accuser and deceiver Satan, who would try and confuse Jesus as to who He really was. He tried to draw Jesus into feeling valuable by His wisdom and might by getting him to turn stones into bread and doing miracles to prove His identity. In the light of these things, the Father came with a reminder of where the value of Christ was and where it had come from.

“This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

This statement, and this statement alone, was the foundation of Christ’s ability to face such great opposition and hatred. His sense of value was not based in Himself and what He possessed, nor what he could achieve. It was based purely in the relationship with the One who had given Him life. Notice carefully:

Matt 4:4 But He answered and said, "It is written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.' "

This is the foundation of a Biblical kingdom; value comes from the one who has given you life. This means that life (physical life) and value (emotional and spiritual life) are not dependent on what we inherently possess but on the life source that we are in intimate relationship with.

The experience of Jesus at the baptism highlights the critical role of the channel of blessing that is open to those who are in intimate relationship with the life source of the universe called our heavenly Father.

c. The Blessing

In the previous chapter we discovered that the husband and wife relationship is an image of the Father and Son relationship. Included in this image is the crucial process of blessing. The Biblical principle of headship is in fact the opening of the door to blessing. Notice this important Bible passage:

1Cor 11:3 But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

Here we see a channel of blessing that passes from Father to Son to husband to wife.[1] Just as the Son of God needed the blessing of His Father, so does a wife need the blessing of her husband. We will cover this point in more detail but suffice to say, I have not met a wife that is in a close relationship with her husband that is not encouraged and strengthened by his tenderness and appreciation of her. I have spoken to many ladies asking them how important it is to them to be affirmed and encouraged by their husbands. I have not met one that did not desire or appreciate it.

The flow of blessing is also vital to be passed onto children. As we mentioned earlier, the glory of children is the father. It is critical for children to know that their father loves them and is pleased with them.

I was pondering this concept one day and was thinking about how I might bless my oldest son. I was looking for the right opportunity to tell him how special he is to me. He was seven at the time and we were discussing some simple things and then the conversion opened up to the point where I could tell my son how much I loved him. I said, “Son there is no one on earth more special to me than you, excluding your mother of course.” “You are a very special boy and I am really proud of you.” My son lit up like a Christmas tree. There was something life-giving in what I had shared with my son. It strengthened our relationship and made us closer. It also allowed me to act on behalf of our Father in heaven and speak the words He wants to speak to my son and to every child. It is a wonderful privilege to bless. This principle can extend (though not as powerfully as a birth father) to grandparents, relatives, teachers and pastors as well. A person of authority and standing that we look up to can bring blessing.

One afternoon at church I invited all the children to come down the front for a special prayer. With each child, I placed my hand on their shoulder and spoke their name saying something like this: “Father in heaven, thank you for Steven, you are the one that created him and therefore he is special. We want him to know that we as a church love him and will be praying for him and know that you will bless him with gifts and talents to be a strong man of God and an important part of our community.” I did this with all the children, one by one in front of the church – because they were worth it.

The next day one of the mother’s rang me in an excited state. She said “Pastor, my daughter came to me this morning and said ‘Mum, I am special’ and I answered, ‘why is that honey’ and my daughter said ‘because the pastor said so.’” What an honour to plant that seed for that young lady, a child of God. It is so wonderful to plant the seeds of emotional and spiritual life in those under your care and influence.

This is how Jesus operated here on earth. Filled with a sense of the Father’s blessing he was enabled to bless others under His influence.

Mark 10:13-16 Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. 14 But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. 15 Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it." 16 And He took them up in His arms, put His hands on them, and blessed them.

The disciples did not understand the significance of taking the children and blessing them. They were under the influence of a different life source model as we shall discuss later. But Jesus took the children in His arms and blessed them. What a beautiful picture of God’s love, Jesus shows us what God is like and demonstrates it by taking the children in His arms and imparting emotional and spiritual life to them and giving them a stronger sense of purpose and meaning.

The power of the blessing cannot be underestimated. We have a powerful story in the Bible of how significant the blessing of the father is, or at least was, in earlier times.

Gen 27:38 And Esau said unto his father, Hast thou but one blessing, my father? bless me, even me also, O my father. And Esau lifted up his voice, and wept.

You can read the context of this story in Genesis 27, but the point we need to see is that Esau longed to hear the words of blessing from his father. It was so important to him that he wept at the thought of not receiving it.

The facts are that in a Biblical life source framework, the receiving and nurturing of the blessing is the most important process of a community. It is the key to building a strong treasure house of family memories and a sense of belonging.

In the next two chapters we will look at what factors need to be in place to allow this blessing to flow effectively and protective measures that have been put in place to safeguard this channel of blessing.