Life Matters

In the first chapter, after examining a tragic situation within a family, I made this comment:

What principles are at play in society that is causing this breakdown in building a family treasure of memories? What is driving the rising levels of isolation, depression and suicide? We might offer some surface level response of needing to spend more time together and I could give you a list of things to do (which you already know) that could greatly benefit your family treasure building but I guess that would be like offering a mop to clean up the mess rather than pointing to the place to turn off the tap. I believe the issues are much deeper than a simple list of things to do.

We have had a very comprehensive look at the driving forces that are tearing families apart. With these principles in place we can now offer some suggestions and pointers for building a family treasure of memories.

a. The Husband and Wife Relationship

As we have clearly shown, everything depends on the correct structuring of the husband and wife relationship into a blessing structure. This blessing structure is established by the husband realizing his role as the head, blesser and seeder of the home, and the wife realizing her critical role as the submissive nurturing agent that draws down that blessing. So how do we bring this about in day to day life?

i. The Husband and Father

Recognize your privilege and responsibility to bless your wife and children. You have authority from heaven to pray and speak blessing into their lives. Pray each day that the lives of your wife and children will be filled with blessing and peace. Pray for their protection and wisdom and success. Your attitude and self perception in this prayer process is vital. Pray with a sense of purpose; that this is a critical part of your role in the home and that God will indeed bless your family.

Remember the power of your words. Your words are powerful seeds that will reap a harvest in your wife and children.

Prov 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Take every opportunity to speak words of encouragement to your wife and children. Your family needs to hear these seeding words, they depend on them. Avoid the temptation to withdraw your blessing when your authority is challenged. Remember that your worth and value comes from God. Teach your family the Biblical principles of the channel of blessing and the importance for them to stay in that channel.

At the end of each day, intercede for your children and ask the Lord to forgive the errors of your children. This is a vital headship principle. You are responsible for their conduct until they reach the age of accountability and you must act on their behalf.

Remember that your family kingdom rests upon the attitude of submission that your wife has to you. Make her life sweet and joyful. Make every effort to appreciate her work in the home and support her in what ever ways you can. Pray for your wife and pray for wisdom as to best lead her. Remember that she is trusting that your leadership will be directed by God and that she will be blessed under your headship. Pray before you ask her to do things, ensure that what you ask her to do is what God would want.

Do not yell or loudly raise your voice at your family in anger. The raising of your voice indicates a loss of identity on your part. Words spoken in anger by a husband and father are extremely detrimental to the emotional health of your family. Your word is seed and a word sown in anger will reap a whirlwind in your children. Satan will tempt you regularly to speak in anger and to curse your wife and children. If you are constantly feeling the need to do this, you must assess whether you are truly finding your value in your heavenly Father and see yourself as the leader of your home.

You may be in a situation where your wife seeks to dominate and control you. Rather than respond in the same manner, assume your leadership role and pray blessing into the life of your wife. A woman who controls and dominates is really feeling insecure. She needs blessing and appreciation to help heal the wounds she may have received from her father or from your poor leadership in the past. This will take much patience and prayer, but the rewards are worth it.

Remember that it is your responsibility to teach your family about the channel of blessing principles. Bring your family together on a regular basis to teach them the principles found in the Bible. Teach them concerning God the source of all life and how we stay connected to that source. Teach them about the serpent’s lie and the dangers of acting independently.

Keep the Sabbath as special family day to worship God and remember all the wonderful things that He has done for you and your family. The Sabbath provides a regular reminder that all life comes from God and we only have life in a relationship with Him.

Teach your family concerning the Sanctuary journey from the Court to the Most Holy Place and how that God has promised to write His protective Ten Commandment Law into our hearts so that we will be permanently connected to Him.

Keep your home as free as possible from New World Order inspired movies, music and educational programs that will undermine the channel of blessing. Watch for TV programs that undermine the headship of the father’s role.[1] Keep this text in mind as you assess material coming into your home:

Phil 4:7-8 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are  just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Are the things being watched or read true and honest? Most fictional programs do not qualify as true. Are they just, pure and lovely? How many programs are filled with filthy language, immoral conduct and violence? It is important to remember that even if you prevent your children from watching these things, but watch them yourself, the spirit that attends these films will filter through you to your children anyway.

In the earlier years, it is easy to keep these things out, but as your children grow work with them to see the dangers rather than just prevent them having access to things. As children grow, they must start making their own decisions, you can’t make all their decisions for them.

Remember that as the head of the house, when you engage in worldly activities, you open the door for your whole family to be affected by a worldly spirit. Remember that if you watch material that has a spirit of rebellion, you may sow a spirit of rebellion into your children. Then when they rebel against you, it may be your fault rather than their fault. Discern carefully the importance of your role as the protector of the family against outside influences.

Above all, stay close to your example and Master – Jesus Christ. As you stay connected to Him in prayer and study, you will be filled with the needed wisdom, grace and peace to lead your family. If your job prevents you from having enough time to pray and meditate – find another job. It is much better to lose a job than to lose your family. Your family is everything to you.

ii. The Wife and Mother

As we have noted several times before, the key to success for the family kingdom rests upon the pivotal role of the wife and mother. The demonstration of submission in the home both establishes the blessing authority of her husband and demonstrates powerfully to her children the principle of submission. As God is the source of all life, legitimate submission is the key to life in the family.

The role of the wife and mother is to nurture the seed of her husband both physically and spiritually. A wise wife will draw down the blessing of her husband upon herself and her children.

The best way a wife can secure a blessing for herself and her children is to pray for her husband, the he might lead with wisdom and discretion. Pray for him to make carefully considered decisions that will benefit the whole family.

A wise wife will not challenge the decisions of her husband or assume the responsibility of having the final say. She will not seek to manipulate her husband with tears or flattering words or marital favours. Such deception and manipulation will reap a harvest in your children and teach them to be cunning in getting their own way.

Sometimes the Lord will show you things that He will not immediately show your husband, even as the Lord allowed Rebekah to discern that Jacob was a more spiritual boy than Esau. This is a test to see if you will pray for your husband and submissively appeal to him or whether you will trust in your “superior knowledge” to effect change even as Rebekah did in causing Jacob to deceive his father. The result was that she never saw her favoured son again.

In submitting to your husband, you are submitting to the Lord for His sake. If your husband is not a believer, take every opportunity to establish his leadership by demonstrating your submission. As the Bible states:

1Pet 3:1-6 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewellery and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (NIV)

Remember, submission is not a passive process of just doing whatever the husband says, it is an active process of praying for your husband’s wisdom, appealing to him concerning issues that are important to you. Seek his advice and guidance in matters and trust the Lord will give your husband wisdom to guide you. If your husband specifically asks you to violate the commandments of God, gently appeal to him that these commandments are very important to you and that in asking you to violate them, he is asking you to violate your conscience and is this really what he wants. If he will not relent, then you must quietly and firmly say that you can’t do this and pray that he will cease his request. Do not challenge him, nor yell at him or try and manipulate him to change his mind. Trust that God will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able to bear.

Do not speak badly of your husband to others under any circumstance. Do not criticize him or belittle him; for this is the surest path to bring about your own destruction. If there are problems, appeal to your husband and beyond this appeal to the leaders of your church or family community to assist – not for the purpose of vindication, but for peace.

If your husband is not taking up his priestly duty to teach and lead the family in spiritual matters, do not assume this role automatically. Ask your husband permission to fill this role if he feels he can’t do it. And continue to pray that he will resume or commence that role as soon as possible.

You are the queen of your home and you can do a lot to make the home a beautiful place. Through the nurturing gifts of hospitality, you can make your home a place where your husband, children and friends love to be. Be as cheerful in your work and remember that the tidiness of your home, while important, is not more important than the closeness of your family relationships: The home was made for man, not man for the home.

Seek wisdom from the Lord, and through your husband, to teach your children, especially in the early years. It is your privilege to set the tone and groundwork of their characters. Impress upon them the importance of the commandments, the channel of blessing and the need to respect and honour their father. As the Bible states:

Titus 2:3-5 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

There is a special work to do for mothers with their daughter and spiritual women with young women in the church; and that is to perverse the family kingdom principles of Biblical submission. The family kingdom depends on this teaching and you are in the best place to keep this kingdom active. This is why the Father sent His Son as the principle agent to save the family kingdom, because no-one knows better the principles of submission than the Son of God.

In this modern age, when the world is seeking to train young women to be independent and not submissive at all, you have a sacred duty to raise young women to thwart Satan’s plans for the New World Order. Much depends on this vital work of training young women. Even as the universe depends completely on the submission of Jesus to the Father, our families depend on the development of young wise women who understand the power of submission for the family kingdom.

Above all, watch your Saviour closely and study his example of submission. In many respects you have been made in His image and have the joy of powerfully revealing His character to the world.

b. Special Blessing Times and Events

The greatest joy and responsibility for parents is to raise happy, wise and productive children. The success of the family kingdom depends on blessed seed being planted in the hearts of your children by the father and nurtured by the mother. This work can be done day by day but there are a number of special times when a formal blessing ceremony can be performed to seal the blessed seed in the hearts of your children.

i. Conception and Pregnancy

Though the child has not been born, the blessing channel is still very active. Your attitude towards you unborn child is still seeding the foundations of the emotional stability of that child. Both husband and wife should seek the Lord together in thanks for the unborn child, even if the child was an “accident” on their part, it was not an accident on God’s part. The first blessing is the attitude of desire and joy for the child. It would be well to have a special celebration of the event for which you can video or take pictures to show the children when they are older of your excitement of their conception and development in the womb.

ii. Birth

The birth of a child is a most joyful event. Do not fall into the temptation to desire either a boy or a girl. Accept the gender of the child as God’s gift to you. Any hint of disappointment will immediately flow through the channel into the emotional memory and will curse them.

As soon as is possible arrange for a special dedication ceremony to pledge yourselves to raise this child in the principles of God’s family kingdom. You can arrange to do this in a church or a community group or simply with your extended family.

iii. Toddler and Early Years

Provide your child with plenty of love and affection and provide a home environment as best you can free from conflict and discord. During these years a child will test your resolve to carry out your commands. Do not shout at or threaten your children, so behaviour comes from a lack of knowing who you are. Calmly and firmly point the duty of your children and ensure that they follow through. Sometimes this will take more time than you are willing to give, but it is vitally important. Remember that when your child is slow to obey or refuses to obey, Satan is at work to enslave their will. Rather than scold them, pray constantly that God will set their will free, so they can obey your commands. In some cases Satan will try to use fear in the heart of your child to cause them to disobey – this is often the case with eating certain foods. Again, in some cases it is not the child desiring to be disobey, but fear through Satan has gripped them and made it hard to obey. Patiently lead them in prayer concerning such fears and encourage them to trust God.

During these years, the morning and evening worship is an excellent time for blessing. I suggest that on the eve of each Sabbath, when you conduct a worship program in the home that your bring your children to you as fathers and lay hands on them and bless them. Tell them they are special and that you love them and God loves them. These events will help seal the seeds of blessing in your children.

iv. Adolescence

The beginning of adolescence or the teen years is an extremely important time. It signals transition from childhood to adulthood. It is during this time that a child will begin to change physically into a man or woman. It is also around this time that a child will seek special validation concerning their identity, purpose and destiny. It is during these years that the role of the father becomes extremely important. Remember the Bible verse which states:

Prov 17:6 Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are  their fathers.

As a child enters the teen years, I suggest that a special ceremony of recognition be arranged for the child in the presence of family and friends; something along the lines of a confirmation or Bar Mitzvah ceremony. The crucial part of the ceremony is the statements of love and appreciation by the father in front of the gathering. This will plant strongly the seeds of God’s family kingdom and help preserve them from the many dangers teens face as they seek to establish themselves as adults.

v. Adulthood

A child will reach adulthood typically around the age of 18 to 21 years but this varies according to each child. Many cultures recognize a need to celebrate something like a 21^st birthday. Again the father can play a key role in such a celebration and release his son or daughter into manhood or womanhood. When our father tells us we are now a man or woman, it is extremely significant and it would be wise to have such a celebration at this time.

vi. Marriage

The continuation of the family kingdom depends completely in the choice of a right marriage partner for your child. If you have been diligent to bless your child and teach them the principles of headship and submission, they will more likely choose a partner that also holds these values. Pray earnestly for your children that they will make a wise choice and pray that they might seek your counsel concerning a partner. Avoid forcing your opinion concerning a life partner and when they make a choice be careful not to heavily criticize their choice of a potential companion.

When your child makes a decision for marriage and after consultation and prayer, they have decided to move forward, support your child’s decision, do not undermine them as this could destroy the marriage from the beginning.

Seek to become close to the son or daughter in-law and welcome them into your family and keep your door open for them. The wedding day should be an extremely joyful event. It takes much prayer and effort to make it so. Bless your children when they marry because without your blessing, their marriage will struggle. Even if you feel there are problems, cursing them will only bring rebellion once they have decided and will cut you off from being close to them. Do everything to keep the channels of blessing open because your children still need your blessing when they have their own children.

vii. Grandchildren

A grandparent has a role to play in blessing. Remember that the crown of old men is their grandchildren. If you are close to your son or daughter they hopefully will come to you for advice on how to deal with their child in certain situations. Because our children are like ourselves, grandparents have special insights into the traits of character of a grandchild. Avoid offering advice concerning child raising when it is not asked for. Bless your grandchildren at every opportunity and encourage them in spiritual things. Grandchildren can be such a blessing to grandparents and spending time with grandchildren that love you can be the greatest blessing.

c. Country Living

You will remember that we have made several comparisons between the philosophy of Abraham and Nimrod. Here is the chart once again.

Abraham	Nimrod
1. Family Structure (Gen 18:19)	1. Individual Dictator/Tyrant (Gen 10:10)
2. Nomadic Rural Dwellers (Heb 11:8-10)	2. City Builders and Defenders (Gen 11:4)
3. Identity by Parental Blessing (Gen 12:2)	3. Identity by Renown (Gen 11:4)
4. Observe Sabbath and Commandments (Gen 26:5)	4. Follow Personal Desires (Rom 1:21-32)
5. Belief in Death and Resurrection (Heb 11:17-19)	5. Belief in Immortality of the Soul (Gen 3:4)
6. Saviour as Humble Life Restorer – Revealed in Slain Lamb (John 11:25)	6. Saviour as Prideful Liberator and Subduer Empowered by Sun and Nature Worship
7. Focus of Worship on the Invisible	7. Focus of Worship on the Visible

One of the points we noted was that a family kingdom works best in rural environment surrounded by the things of God. Cities were first build by Cain and then Nimrod extended these principles. Cities are usually filled with crime, violence and a self pleasing, pleasure loving multitude. The city is not a place to raise children in the family kingdom. The Bible tells us: “Be still and know that I am God.” It is hard to be still while living in a bustling city.

When you are surrounded by trees and hills, mountains and rivers, you are constantly reminded of God’s channel of blessing system. Rather than depending on man for your water, you depend on the rain from heaven. Your children will be closer to nature and learn to appreciate the things of nature. If you are not living in a country environment, I encourage you to pray about moving out as soon as is reasonably possible. You don’t want to be completely isolated from people. Living near a small town would be preferable. As you pray, may God grant you wisdom in these matters as you seek to build your family kingdom.

d. A Treasure of Family Memories

As you prayerfully seek to apply the principles laid out in this book, I am hopeful and confident that you will build a large treasure of memories for you and your children. One thing that I am mindful to do as a father is to record on camera and video, the special family events in our lives and play them to my family at meaningful times like around the holiday season at the end of the year.

I regularly have photos in a slide show playing on my computer as a ‘screen saver’ and I often see my wife and children stopping and looking at the pictures. It is good to be reminded of the happy times we have spent together over the years. These memories will stay with your children and will protect them against the terrible tragedy that happened to the poor young man in Chapter 1. It will also protect them against the need for many of the vices and rebellion that young people engage in today as they deal with the curses that have come into their lives through the serpent’s lie of inherent power.

I want to pray for your family that it will be blessed and joyful and resilient against the attacks of Satan through the global elite. I encourage you to do your part in keeping the commandments of God and the faith of Jesus. I also look forward to the time when all of us as children of God will stand around His throne and worship Him, who is the source of all blessing.