Life Matters

The book of Genesis is full of instructive examples of how God’s family system was challenged, tested and at times broken. After the collapse of the first family of Adam due to the tyrannical behaviour of the giants or men of renown, God called Noah to restart the family system but soon after it failed again and the whole world embraced the lie of the inherent life source. So God called Abraham to be His representative and reflect His kingdom. From Genesis 12 till the end of the book we are privileged to observe crucial aspects of three generations of Abraham’s family line. As we closely look at the lives of the patriarchs we will discover real examples and warnings of how to build a solid family structure for our treasure of memories.

a. The Challenge of Association and Environment

In Genesis 12:1, God tells Abraham to leave the country that he lived in and to leave behind his extended family. Abraham’s family originated from Ur in the land of Babylon. This was the heart of Nimrod’s false worship system. Everything about the Babylonian culture reinforced the lie of inherent life source and was a negative influence on building a family system based on God’s principles.

For Abraham to leave behind everything that was familiar to him and break the close family ties that he held would have been difficult, but he chose to obey God’s command. The cities of today are modeled on the exact same principles as the one Abraham lived in – the exaltation of man, self gratification and varying levels of control (job, taxes, media, peer pressure, education system). Leaving the city for a more rural environment often poses a number of hurdles that many are not willing to climb over. The leaving of friends and comforts behind seems too hard; and so many families live in the cities exposing themselves philosophically, emotionally, culturally and spiritually to principles that are totally opposed to God’s family system. City life, in most cases, is a great barrier to building a treasure of family memories.

The lesson of environment is further presented in the story of Lot. Lot was Abraham’s nephew and had traveled with him out of Babylon. The growth of their respective flocks became so large that it became impossible to share resources from one area in such a large group.

Gen 13:5-6 And Lot also, which went with Abram, had flocks, and herds, and tents. 6 And the land was not able to bear them, that they might dwell together: for their substance was great, so that they could not dwell together.

Abraham invited Lot to choose the direction he wanted to go. If Lot wanted to go left, Abraham would go right. If Lot wanted to go right, Abraham would go left. If Lot had followed God’s system of submission, he would have asked Abraham to pray and decide what he felt was best for both of them. As Abraham’s nephew, Lot was in Abraham’s channel of blessing and he would have been blessed in submitting to the wisdom and leadership of his Uncle.

Lot was influenced by a desire for possessions, wealth and ease, in the same manner as the men of Babylon. He made a power based decision rather than a relational one and he chose the land that was most fertile and was near the city of Sodom.

Gen 13:10-13 And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered every where, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar. 11 Then Lot chose him all the plain of Jordan; and Lot journeyed east: and they separated themselves the one from the other. 12 Abram dwelled in the land of Canaan, and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain, and pitched his tent toward Sodom. 13 But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly.

This decision by Lot proved fatal for his family kingdom. Eventually Lot and his family moved into Sodom and Lot received a warning of living in that city by being taken captive by a neighbouring group of tribes. The story is outlined in Genesis 14. This should have been a warning to Lot to leave the city. Sadly there is no mention in the record of Lot’s gratitude or a commitment to leave Sodom. His eyes had been blinded to the dangers for his family and he would pay a very high price.

The wickedness of Sodom became so great that God had to intervene. In the discussion with Abraham, the spirit of Christ in Abraham, pleading for Sodom shows the reluctance of God to destroy the city, but the morality of life had become so bad that the role identities of male and female became totally confused and the family structure destroyed.

Gen 19:4-7 Before they had gone to bed, all the men from every part of the city of Sodom-- both young and old-- surrounded the house. 5 They called to Lot, Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them. 6 Lot went outside to meet them and shut the door behind him 7 and said, No, my friends. Don't do this wicked thing. NIV

The day to day exposure to this environment eroded the moral foundations of the house of Lot. Though Lot did his best to be faithful to God, he placed himself where the environment and association of the wicked people around him would undermine all his efforts.

Lot lost his whole family except two daughters; they all perished in the destruction of Sodom.

Gen 19:14 And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law.

Gen 19:17 And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.

Gen 19:24-26 Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven; 25 And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground. 26 But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

Sadly, Lot’s wife had embraced the non-submissive spirit of the women of Sodom and refused to gratefully heed the instruction, not to look back and she perished. It is possible that even with her non-submissive spirit, Lot’s wife might have had extended time to rethink her course but the wavering attitude of Lot in living in the city reinforced her attitudes of disobedience and sealed her fate.

It would have been bad enough to lose your entire family, but Lot’s daughters had also been influenced by the immorality of Sodom. The willingness of Lot to allow his daughters to be used by vile men was evidence of the lack of blessing Lot provided for his daughters and this made them vulnerable to the affections of ungodly men and evil associations.

Under this influence, Lot’s daughters seeking with good intention to keep the family tree going used the Nimrod principle of manipulation to get their father drunk and they both became pregnant by him. These young women had lost a sense of who their father was meant to be and the lack of respect they had lived and breathed in Sodom had allowed them to cross a threshold that would prove a great tragedy. The children born from this event were Moab and Ammon; the head of the Moabites and the Ammonites who would prove a great trial to the descendents of Abraham – the children of Israel. Without a correct family blessing structure, these two tribes became wicked and warlike and proved to be a blot on the earth and eventually filled their cup with iniquity to the point where divine judgment was required.

All of these terrible events could have been avoided if Lot had submitted to the authority of Abraham and asked him to suggest the best course of action. He even could have been spared if he had left Sodom after Abraham rescued him, but he failed. The heritage of Lot was not a mighty nation that was a blessing to the earth but an example of loss, tragedy, incest and wickedness in his descendents.

What impact are our associations and environment having on our families today?

b. The Test of Riches

The Bible tells us very plainly the dangers and seduction of money.

1Tit 6:10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

Money itself is not the root of evil, but the love of it. We noticed earlier that it was Nimrod who developed a form of banking system. The relational motivations of love and responsibility that form the basis of transactions in God’s kingdom were replaced with the system of money where every transaction had its price and opened the door for men to more easily find value through their possessions. In a money based system, money is power and the more money you have, the more power you have, so the love of money is the love of power and one of the best expressions of value by position and power. Our Father in heaven states on this subject:

Jer 9:23-24 Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: 24 But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD.

God tells us not to find value or glory in riches but to glory in knowing Him. The riches of God’s kingdom is character. What price can be placed on a person that is joyful, peaceful, patient, honest, discerning and forthright in defending righteous values? Where do we find men like this today?

The majority of society today has money as one of the highest ambitions to gain. As sometimes has been stated “Money is not everything but it’s up there with oxygen!”

Men and women will sacrifice home and family to possess riches and wealth, and are willing to marry completely the wrong person simply because they are wealthy. They will do overtime at work night after night to try and get ahead while their children are deprived of being with them. The desire for money and the desire for a happy family are competing desires. At regular points in our lives, one desire has to give way to the other.

In the life of Abraham, we see a man who chose God and family first in these situations. Though Abraham was a rich man, and one might say he could afford to be generous, the character of the man is revealed repeatedly, that he chose to honour God first and placed a higher value on his family relationships.

Gen 13:7-9 And there was a strife between the herdmen of Abram's cattle and the herdmen of Lot's cattle: and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelled then in the land. 8 And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren. 9 Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.

The only reason that Lot had large possessions was because of his connection to Abraham. Abraham could have treated Lot like Laban treated Jacob and try and get as much value out of him as he could to enrich himself but he did not. He could have told Lot that it was his skill and wisdom that had enabled all this wealth and that Lot owed Abraham a debt of gratitude and should pay him accordingly but he did not. Most astute business men would have frowned at Abraham allowing his nephew to decide which pastures he wanted first, allowing his nephew the advantage – such a decision was not worldly wise at all.

But Abraham was not enslaved to the love of money and possessions as Lot was. The love of possessions and advantage cost Lot his family kingdom and he lost everything. In seeking the temporal advantage of gaining more, he was left with nothing.

In Genesis 14 we see once again that Abraham valued family relations above temporal advantage.

Gen 14:12-15 And they took Lot, Abram's brother's son, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed. 13 And there came one that had escaped, and told Abram the Hebrew; for he dwelt in the plain of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol, and brother of Aner: and these were confederate with Abram. 14 And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his trained servants, born in his own house, three hundred and eighteen, and pursued them unto Dan. 15 And he divided himself against them, he and his servants, by night, and smote them, and pursued them unto Hobah, which is on the left hand of Damascus.

It would have been easy for Abraham not to feel sorry for Lot and what happened to him or possibly allowed feelings of justice to arise that Lot had received his just deserts for being greedy, but Abraham did not allow these thoughts to rule him. Lot was his nephew and he willingly risked his own life and invested his own possessions and wealth in seeking to save Lot.

Abraham could have lost his own life and all his possessions to save Lot and his family. From a worldly point of view this was a foolish move. He may even have hired a team of men to reclaim his nephew, but Abraham went himself and laid everything on the line.

God gave Abraham a great victory against all the odds[1] and once again Abraham was faced with a money challenge. Abraham knew that his victory was given to him from God and it was the Lord who was to be praised for his mercy. It is at this point that we see a principle that Abraham followed to remind himself of where all things come from.

Gen 14:18-20 Then Melchizedek king of Salem brought out bread and wine. He was priest of God Most High, 19 and he blessed Abram, saying, Blessed be Abram by God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth. 20 And blessed be God Most High, who delivered your enemies into your hand. Then Abram gave him a tenth of everything. NIV

Abraham might have reasoned that he was entitled to take all the spoils of this conflict. He had placed his life and possessions on the line and won, so he was entitled to them. But such thinking is reflective of the serpent’s lie of inherent power. Abraham knew it was God who had won the victory; this power, skill and ability did not originate with him, but came from the Creator of the heavens and the earth and, as an acknowledgment of that, he gave a tithe or 10 percent of his income to the priest of the Most High God. The giving of the tithe was a tangible acknowledgment by Abraham that everything he possessed had come from God and served as a blessing against greed and selfishness. The practice of tithing was another way that Abraham placed family relationships above the temptations and seduction of wealth.

But Abraham’s perception of the dangers of wealth extended further.

Gen 14:21-24 The king of Sodom said to Abram, Give me the people and keep the goods for yourself. 22 But Abram said to the king of Sodom, I have raised my hand to the LORD, God Most High, Creator of heaven and earth, and have taken an oath 23 that I will accept nothing belonging to you, not even a thread or the thong of a sandal, so that you will never be able to say, 'I made Abram rich.

The king of Sodom did not believe as Abraham did, that all wealth and possessions came from the God who made the heavens and the earth. If he accepted his gifts, it could be said that Abraham became wealthy through the riches of Sodom; that his greatness came from his own skill and ability combined with the generosity of the king of Sodom. Abraham was keen to protect the principles he lived by and honour the God he served. He would take nothing from the king of Sodom.

In these experiences of Abraham we see another secret of building a family treasure:

1. A placing of family relationships above the desire for wealth.
2. A recognition that all wealth and possessions come from God.
3. The practice of tithing as a safeguard against the lie that what we possess comes from ourselves.
4. A refusal to accept gifts that would take away God’s glory as the source of all things.

These lessons are just as vital today and if we want to build a family structure that will bless our children, we would be wise to walk in the steps of Abraham.

c. The Test of Marriage – Headship and Submission

God told Abraham right at the beginning that through his family structure, God would bless the families of the world. For this blessing to flow freely, Abraham and Sarah would need to have a clear sense of their roles in that family structure. Notice what God promised:

Gen 12:2-3 I will make you a great nation; I will bless you And make your name great; And you shall be a blessing. 3 I will bless those who bless you, And I will curse him who curses you; And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed." NKJV

Later in Genesis, God spells out clearly how the blessings would flow and what would ensure the building of this great nation.

Gen 18:18-19 since Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? 19 For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him. NKJV

We discussed the vital nature of this family structure in Chapters 4 to 6. One thing we mentioned, that we need to be reminded about is this:

Equality in relationships is not about power, control and assets, it is about the ability to understand and know someone and the perception of female identity in this way is the only way we can define relational equality. The woman is the key to a relational kingdom.

For all the families of the earth to be blessed through Abraham’s family, his family system must be the pattern for all families; to allow the blessing of love, worth and value to flow through it to all families. The name “Son” in Hebrew carries a primary sense of “Builder of the family Name.” To build the Family name, the son must learn correct principles of how relationships work and the place where this is learned is obviously from his parents.

i. Abraham’s First Failure in Egypt Causes Vulnerability in Sarah

With these thoughts in mind, we will see that Sarah is the key to Abraham’s family kingdom turning into a great nation. Her perception of her husband and how she responds to the authority given him by God will determine the success or failure of the family kingdom.

With this in mind let us observe what events transpire in the lives of Abraham and Sarah and the attempts made by Satan to destroy the building of their treasure of family memories.

Gen 12:10-15 Now there was a famine in the land, and Abram went down to Egypt to dwell there, for the famine was severe in the land. 11 And it came to pass, when he was close to entering Egypt, that he said to Sarai his wife, "Indeed I know that you are a woman of beautiful countenance. 12 Therefore it will happen, when the Egyptians see you, that they will say, 'This is his wife'; and they will kill me, but they will let you live. 13 Please say you are my sister, that it may be well with me for your sake, and that I may live because of you." 14 So it was, when Abram came into Egypt, that the Egyptians saw the woman, that she was very beautiful. 15 The princes of Pharaoh also saw her and commended her to Pharaoh. And the woman was taken to Pharaoh's house.

Satan immediately went to work to destroy the relationship between Abraham and Sarah. He worked on Abraham’s fears when they went down to Egypt and Abraham’s lack of faith caused Sarah to be put in a difficult situation. In asking Sarah to hide the full truth about her relationship to Abraham, she was taken into the court of Pharaoh to become part of his “collection” of women. This failure on Abraham’s part would have made Sarah feel extremely vulnerable. Why did Abraham, her husband and protector, allow her to be taken by Pharaoh? How was this a demonstration of love? She had submitted to his request to say that she was his sister to protect him and yet when she was taken, he did nothing to protect her.

Satan was trying to break Sarah’s confidence in her husband by causing Abraham to stumble though fear. This action was an echo of Adam blaming Eve for his actions when he fell into rebellion. If Satan could break Sarah’s confidence in Abraham and cause her to lose confidence in his authority, then he knew that he would greatly hinder this channel of blessing and hopefully even destroy the channel for the promised seed.

Every husband needs to understand that his entire family kingdom rests upon the confidence that his wife has in him as a leader and a protector of the family. To protect his wife from the temptations of Satan, he needs to regularly affirm her and express his love and appreciation of her. Every wife needs to understand that Satan will strive tirelessly to tempt her husband to fail and leave his wife vulnerable to doubting her husband. She can help him be that leader and protector by an attitude of respect and Godly submission to his leadership. Both husband and wife must be active; in displays of appreciation from husband to wife and displays of respect from wife to husband.

Sadly Abraham failed this test at the beginning and the vulnerability it created in Sarah would bring disastrous consequences in the future.

ii. Abraham’s Second Failure in Hearkening to the Voice of Sarah

God had promised Abraham that he would become a great nation, but He allowed a time delay to test Abraham’s character. This time delay turned to many years and Abraham was tempted to be impatient.

Gen 15:1-3 After these things the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision, saying, "Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward." 2 But Abram said, "Lord God, what will You give me, seeing I go childless, and the heir of my house is Eliezer of Damascus?" 3 Then Abram said, "Look, You have given me no offspring; indeed one born in my house is my heir!"

The delay in time revealed Abraham’s independent mind to solve the problem of why he did not have a son. He proposed a solution of his faithful servant becoming his heir. Abraham does not appear to question that the delay might be due to his failure in Egypt which had a severe effect on Sarah. Time would be needed to restore that confidence fully to ensure the submissive role was played correctly. God promised Abraham that from his own body a son would be born.

Gen 15:4-5 And behold, the word of the Lord came to him, saying, "This one shall not be your heir, but one who will come from your own body shall be your heir." 5 Then He brought him outside and said, "Look now toward heaven, and count the stars if you are able to number them." And He said to him, "So shall your descendants be."

But in this promise there is still a test because he does not say that Sarah will be the one to bear the child, he only mentions Abraham. Why did God do this? The vulnerability in Sarah caused by Abraham in Egypt needed to be brought to light before the foundations of Abraham’s kingdom could be laid with a son. The statement of the Lord produced the desired effect and the fears of Sarah soon surfaced.

Gen 16:1-2 Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. 2 So Sarai said to Abram, "See now, the Lord has restrained me from bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her." And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai.

This passage reveals the lengths that Sarah was willing to go to obtain children. In ancient times, a failure of a wife to produce children was a shame to her. This shame had come about by the lie of Satan of inherent power to produce. We see this shame and sorrow and worthlessness manifested in greater magnitude in Sarah’s grand-daughter-in-law Rachel.

Gen 30:1 Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister, and said to Jacob, "Give me children, or else I die!"

Rachel was almost suicidal about the fact that she could not produce children. Her sister was apparently producing children at will and she could not produce anything and so Rachel’s “failure to perform” made her suicidal.

This intensity of feeling was nurtured in the heart of Sarah and drove her to suggest a plan that any woman in her right mind would never suggest.

Gen 16:1-2 Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. 2 So Sarai said to Abram, "See now, the Lord has restrained me from bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; perhaps I shall obtain children by her." And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai.

What wife would willingly suggest that her husband have sexual relations with another woman for the purpose of giving children to her husband! This suggestion reveals the stress that Sarah was under. The failure of Abraham to affirm her left her vulnerable to Satan’s suggestion that she was not valuable; and it even appeared that God had abandoned her because she was not included in the promise in Genesis 15. Abraham’s failure to trust the Lord when going down into Egypt had an influence on Sarah’s trusting the Lord with her being restrained in bearing children. Her mournful words “God has restrained me from bearing children,” indicates some belief that God was punishing her for some reason. Either through her low sense of worth and or a sense of rebellion to achieve the goal of having children, she suggests the unthinkable and pleads with Abraham to take her servant girl and have a child with her.

It’s ironic that the curse that came upon Abraham’s family in Egypt was again extended through an Egyptian woman. The kingdom of Egypt fully embraced the lie of the serpent through Nimrod’s kingdom ideals. In suggesting this Egyptian woman be taken into Abraham’s bedroom, it was symbolic of the suggestion that Abraham’s family should embrace the philosophy of Egypt and the lies of inherent power.

Satan was on the verge of a great victory. If he could cause Abraham to yield to Sarah, then God’s kingdom on earth through Abraham would be dealt a terrible blow. Abraham would not be unmindful of the shameful way he treated his wife in Egypt and he would have felt badly for her that she could not bear children. Sarah was overcome with grief because of her plight, but Abraham should have known better than to take Sarah’s advice. But like his ancestor Adam he submitted to the request of his wife. In doing this he surrendered his headship. Satan artfully used a sense of guilt and twisted his sense of empathy for his wife to cause him to surrender his headship role and let Sarah call the shots. This terrible decision is still one of the central causes of controversy in the world today in the war between the Jews and the Arabs in the Middle East.

Abraham should have taken the request of Sarah to the Lord but he did not. The custom of plural wives was common place in those days and Abraham would not have been fully aware of the dangers in this suggestion, but in making such a major decision without consulting the Lord revealed the residual spirit of independence and the influence of the lie of the serpent.

We see revealed in this story a sequence of events to bring down Abraham’s family kingdom:

1. A failure on the part of Abraham to affirm and protect his wife
2. Resulting in a sense of vulnerability to worthlessness in Sarah
3. Resulting in the openness to Satan’s temptation to act independently
4. Resulting in Sarah’s sad request to obtain children by another woman
5. Resulting in Abraham surrendering his role as head of the home by hearkening to the voice of his wife and thus confusing roles of headship and submission
6. Resulting in a confused family relationship in the home of Abraham
7. Resulting in the hampering of the channel of blessing and a major threat to building a family treasure of memories.

d. God Teaches Abraham Concerning the Vital Nature of Family Structure

The failure of Abraham to grasp the sacred union of the husband-wife relationship in establishing him as the head of a great nation, brought many sorrows to him. The consequential rivalry between Sarah and Hagar that emerged did not bring the joy that Sarah imagined, but only increased her sense of pain. Hagar, though married to Abraham, was still Sarah’s servant. This confused relational system was certain to explode at some point.

Gen 16:4-6 So he went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress became despised in her eyes. 5 Then Sarai said to Abram, "My wrong be upon you! I gave my maid into your embrace; and when she saw that she had conceived, I became despised in her eyes. The Lord judge between you and me." 6 So Abram said to Sarai, "Indeed your maid is in your hand; do to her as you please." And when Sarai dealt harshly with her, she fled from her presence.

Sarah blamed her husband for what had taken place. In our modern world, we would laugh at such supposed foolishness, but in the headship and submission system of God, Sarah was entirely correct. Abraham had made the final decision and so the responsibility rested with him for the eruption of ill feeling that descended upon his home. As the husband or house-band he should have refused such a request and prayed to God for grace to comfort his wife and pray for her. It does appear that Isaac learnt from his father about this matter.

Gen 25:21 Now Isaac pleaded with the Lord for his wife, because she was barren; and the Lord granted his plea, and Rebekah his wife conceived.

Through trial and suffering, Abraham learnt many things about family and the way it should be conducted. We mentioned earlier the lesson of Sodom and how the complete breakdown of their family units led to their destruction. We return again to Genesis 18:19.

Gen 18:19 For I have known him, in order that he may command his children and his household after him, that they keep the way of the Lord, to do righteousness and justice, that the Lord may bring to Abraham what He has spoken to him.

There is much significance in the phrase – “ For I have known him.” The word known means intimate knowledge. After many hardships both with himself and with his nephew Lot, God was able to give Abraham intimate knowledge of the family system and the principles of headship and submission. We are told that God knew Abraham in order (or for the purpose of) that he might command his children and family after him.

Gen 16:6-12 So Abram said to Sarai, "Indeed your maid is in your hand; do to her as you please." And when Sarai dealt harshly with her, she fled from her presence. 7 Now the Angel of the Lord found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur. 8 And He said, "Hagar, Sarai's maid, where have you come from, and where are you going?" She said, "I am fleeing from the presence of my mistress Sarai." 9 The Angel of the Lord said to her, "Return to your mistress, and submit yourself under her hand." 10 Then the Angel of the Lord said to her, "I will multiply your descendants exceedingly, so that they shall not be counted for multitude." 11 And the Angel of the Lord said to her: "Behold, you are with child, And you shall bear a son. You shall call his name Ishmael, Because the Lord has heard your affliction. 12 He shall be a wild man; His hand shall be against every man, And every man's hand against him. And he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren."

With this knowledge he was now ready to produce a true heir that would be a true builder of the family kingdom. Ishmael could not fill this position because of the incorrect relationship that he was conceived in. The wildness of Ishmael’s conduct was due directly to Abraham hearkening to the voice of his wife, and placing Hagar in a place where her son could not truly be blessed and have a true sense of worth before God that would enable him to be stable enough to carry the family name.

Hagar could never truly feel secure in her relationship to Abraham because she was first and foremost the servant of Sarah. Without that sense of security, she could not fulfill adequately the nurturing role of a mother, because the channel of blessing to her via Abraham was not legitimate. The life flow of God’s blessing was not upon this union and so it could not prosper in a correct way.

God came to Abraham and informed him that Sarah would bear him a son. In this message once again there was a failure to trust and Abraham’s laughter in Gen 17:17 was passed to Sarah when she heard the news in Gen 18 and she laughed also in total disbelief. The Lord asked Abraham why his wife had laughed rather than asking Sarah directly. This question was directed at Abraham because he had initiated this disbelief and influenced Sarah’s thinking. The lie she told concerning the laughter revealed that she still carried a certain level of insecurity and this needed addressing before the birth of her son.

Now that Abraham had an heir, he would seek to ensure that the wife his son would marry would be able to fulfill the role of the submissive agent. The woman Isaac would marry would be vital to the survival of Abraham’s family kingdom and a prayerful choice had to be made. The expedition of Abraham’s servant to find a suitable woman reveals the realization of how important this choice was. Isaac was 40 years old and in today’s society we would consider well able to make his own choice, but he trusted his father’s wisdom and submitted to the process his father wished. The serving attitude of Rebekah in giving a drink to Abraham’s servant as well as watering his animals revealed the spirit of the submissive agent that Isaac needed to build the family kingdom.

Isaac learned many things from his father and mother regarding family and so he avoided many of the pitfalls his father encountered; but Satan brought another temptation to this couple in the form of favouritism between sons. It totally split the family. But in regard to the choice of a wife for their sons, Isaac and Rebecca had a clear understanding of the issue and how vital it was.

Gen 26:34-35 When Esau was forty years old, he took as wives Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite. 35 And they were a grief of mind to Isaac and Rebekah.

Esau failed to heed to warnings of his grandfather and took two wives from a tribe that did not follow God’s system of family. It caused Isaac and Rebekah much grief, for they knew that it would greatly hinder the promise of becoming a great nation, and in part this is why God indicated that the elder would serve the younger. His choice of wives made it impossible to establish the family kingdom effectively.

Gen 27:46 And Rebekah said to Isaac, "I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth; if Jacob takes a wife of the daughters of Heth, like these who are the daughters of the land, what good will my life be to me?"

Rebekah expressed the truth that if Jacob took a wife that did not understand true family principles then their family kingdom would be finished. All her efforts to raise her sons would be lost in the wrong choice of wives for her sons.

There is much more instruction in the book of Genesis concerning these principles and I would encourage you to follow the cause and effect principles in the family of Jacob. The kingdom of Israel with its birth of twelve sons did not have a perfect start. In fact the family was quite dysfunctional in places, but the lessons are there for us to learn if we are willing.

1. A husband must realize his role as a seed giver and blesser and bless his wife and children in words of appreciation and encouragement.
2. A wife must act in the role of submissive agent to draw down the blessing of her husband in a channel for her children.
3. Once this channel of blessing is open the child will receive a sense of true sonship or daughtership to God which will protect them from the lie of the serpent to gain worth by inherent power and achievement.

Before we close this chapter, we will briefly discuss the blessing process and why it is so vital for a father to bless his children.

e. The Birthright to Bless

In Chapter 5 we discussed the vital principle of the blessing; the flowing forth of not only physical life but also a sense of worth and purpose. This blessing is the only means to truly avoid worthlessness and depression. God reconnected this channel through Abraham when he stated:

Gen 12:2-3 And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing: 3 And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.

This blessing established Abraham as God’s appointed channel to bless the world. Since Abraham entered into a covenant relation with God, even when Abraham failed at times, this channel of blessing was not taken from him. The channel of blessing was not based primarily on Abraham’s ability to behave correctly but rather on his covenant relation to God. A sustained failure to respond to God’s commands would ultimately break this covenant and the channel indeed would be lost as it ultimately was after the time of Christ.

Acts 13:46 Then Paul and Barnabas waxed bold, and said, It was necessary that the word of God should first have been spoken to you: but seeing ye put it from you, and judge yourselves unworthy of everlasting life, lo, we turn to the Gentiles.

The channel of blessing established with Abraham could not be based upon the performance of Abraham because Abraham needed time to learn that he had been raised in an environment based on the lie of the serpent involving inherent power. The covenant provided probation for Abraham to discern his independence and fully submit to God.

Gen 15:18 In the same day the LORD made a covenant with Abram, saying, Unto thy seed have I given this land, from the river of Egypt unto the great river, the river Euphrates:

From a worldly perspective, this covenant appears strange. We notice Abraham’s lie to Abimelech and yet it is Abraham who is asked to pray for Abimelech and not the other way around.

Gen 20:2-7 And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She is my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah. 3 But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she is a man's wife. 4 But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, Lord, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation? 5 Said he not unto me, She is my sister? and she, even she herself said, He is my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this. 6 And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her. 7 Now therefore restore the man his wife; for he is a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore her not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine.

By all accounts, Abimelech should have prayed for Abraham for his deceit in lying about his wife, but God told Abimelech that Abraham would pray for him. The only possible way this could make sense is through the covenant that God made with Abraham to make him his designated authority to bless.

Rather than remove this authority, he brought about circumstances to remind Abraham of his true role to bless. Through the submission of Abimelech to Abraham’s prayers, Abraham was rebuked and reminded of his true role. If Abimelech had attacked Abraham for his behaviour, the fear that had caused Abraham to lie would have been increased and he would have moved futher away from his true identity as the blesser of the families of the earth.

This authority to bless would flow from generation to generation through the concept of the birthright.

Gen 25:31-33 And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright. 32 And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me? 33 And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob.

In God’s kingdom, the honour of the birthright fell by default to the eldest son. The birthright was meant to be used to not only bless his family but also his younger brothers and sisters as well. In God’s kingdom, the birthright carried the joy and responsibility to bless, but twisted by the lie of Satan, the birthright became a status symbol of power and control. The birthright ensured that the majority of the father’s wealth would pass to the carrier of the birthright – not to enrich himself but to bless all under his authority; not to take, but to give.

Esau did not discern the true nature of the birthright as a spiritual heritage and he actually did not want to take the responsibility of family priest of the home. This sentiment would have been underscored by the wives that he had chosen. Women, schooled in the principles of the lie of the serpent, produced in them a lack of submission to the point where Esau’s spiritual authority was not respected. His choices in marriage had ensured he could never truly fulfill this role spiritually.

In the birth of the two boys, Isaac and Rebekah were made aware that the birthright would in some way pass to Jacob, the younger son.

Gen 25:22-23 And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to enquire of the LORD. 23 And the LORD said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.

Jacob would have been aware of this and yet, like his grandfather Abraham who could not wait for the promise of a son to be fulfilled in God’s timing, he took an opportunity to secure the birthright by taking advantage of his brother’s weakness – appetite.

Though Jacob discerned the spiritual value of the birthright and its responsibility to bless, he still did not trust God to bring things about. He was still acting from the principle of the lie of the serpent, through independent thought and action. So even with the best desires and motives to please God, Jacob became a deceiver and a manipulator. Sin, through the law deceived him and that which was ordained to life, he found to be unto death.[2] That which was meant to be a great blessing, became a great curse.

Ultimately, God brought Jacob to see his character and the falseness with which he had acted and in the later days, Jacob became Israel – the overcomer. He became the true channel of blessing to his children and laid the foundation for a spiritual nation.

Before Jacob left his home, his father transferred the authority to bless through the following event.

Gen 28:1-5 And Isaac called Jacob, and blessed him, and charged him, and said unto him, Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan. 2 Arise, go to Padanaram, to the house of Bethuel thy mother's father; and take thee a wife from thence of the daughters of Laban thy mother's brother. 3 And God Almighty bless thee, and make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, that thou mayest be a multitude of people; 4 And give thee the blessing of Abraham, to thee, and to thy seed with thee; that thou mayest inherit the land wherein thou art a stranger, which God gave unto Abraham. 5 And Isaac sent away Jacob: and he went to Padanaram unto Laban, son of Bethuel the Syrian, the brother of Rebekah, Jacob's and Esau's mother.

Isaac gave counsel to Jacob to find a suitable wife that would assist him in carrying forward the work of blessing. As we have noted, Jacob’s ability to bless effectively depended upon the right choice of a wife who would recognize his spiritual leadership and the birthright he possessed.

While on his way to Padanaram, God showed Jacob a symbol of how the blessing principle worked and how it flowed.

Gen 28:11-15 And he lighted upon a certain place, and tarried there all night, because the sun was set; and he took of the stones of that place, and put them for his pillows, and lay down in that place to sleep. 12 And he dreamed, and behold a ladder set up on the earth, and the top of it reached to heaven: and behold the angels of God ascending and descending on it. 13 And, behold, the LORD stood above it, and said, I am the LORD God of Abraham thy father, and the God of Isaac: the land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed; 14 And thy seed shall be as the dust of the earth, and thou shalt spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south: and in thee and in thy seed shall all the families of the earth be blessed. 15 And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.

Jacob was shown a ladder with angels ascending and descending upon it, revealing the flow of the blessing from God and the return of the praise to God that would come from the heart of Jacob and his family. God then sealed directly the blessing Isaac had given Jacob by placing the authority to bless firmly within his hands.

The ladder that the angels climbed and descended was a symbol of the spirit of Christ through whom all blessings flow.

John 1:51 And he saith unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Hereafter ye shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.

Paul presents this blessing flow in a family context in the following manner.

1Cor 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

This symbol of the flow of blessing is also revealed in the giving of the manna, which was a symbol of Christ. It is the submissive spirit of Christ flowing into the hearts of his children that keeps them connected to the Father. Christ, the great example of submission is the key to keeping the whole system functioning and flowing freely.

John 6:32-35 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Moses gave you not that bread from heaven; but my Father giveth you the true bread from heaven. 33 For the bread of God is he which cometh down from heaven, and giveth life unto the world. 34 Then said they unto him, Lord, evermore give us this bread. 35 And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.

We see the principle of the bread reflected in the feeding of the 5000. Jesus blessed the food, gave to his disciples whom He had invested with authority and they passed it to the people and then the fragments were gathered up; signifying this flow of blessing back and forth upon the ladder which represents Christ. The bread symbolized the spiritual blessing which nourishes the soul. That spiritual bread contains life, value and purpose. Without this bread from heaven, we will die. The same concept is expressed in terms of water.

John 7:37-39 In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. 38 He that believeth on me, as the Scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. 39 (But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.)

The ladder that Jacob saw in the wilderness was the beginning of his understanding of the real meaning of the birthright and the spiritual authority that was granted him from his father and grandfather.

The sealing of Jacob’s belief that all blessing comes from God occurred in his struggle with the Angel and pleading for blessing in the face of death. This struggle revealed that the lie of the serpent had been completely eliminated from Jacob.

Gen 32:24-30 And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. 25 And when he saw that he prevailed not against him, he touched the hollow of his thigh; and the hollow of Jacob's thigh was out of joint, as he wrestled with him. 26 And he said, Let me go, for the day breaketh. And he said, I will not let thee go, except thou bless me. 27 And he said unto him, What is thy name? And he said, Jacob. 28 And he said, Thy name shall be called no more Jacob, but Israel: for as a prince hast thou power with God and with men, and hast prevailed. 29 And Jacob asked him, and said, Tell me, I pray thee, thy name. And he said, Wherefore is it that thou dost ask after my name? And he blessed him there. 30 And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.

Despite the threat of death and also the extreme pain, Jacob did not trust himself or any human agent to deliver him. He trusted alone in divine power and thus his name was changed to overcomer. Jacob had overcome the lie of inherent power and thus secured the channel of blessing from God to the human race through the family system of God.

In this capacity Jacob culminates the book of Genesis with a blessing for his children. We see this process revealed in Joseph having his two sons blessed by his father.

Gen 48:3-5 And Jacob said unto Joseph, God Almighty appeared unto me at Luz in the land of Canaan, and blessed me, 4 And said unto me, Behold, I will make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, and I will make of thee a multitude of people; and will give this land to thy seed after thee for an everlasting possession. 5 And now thy two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, which were born unto thee in the land of Egypt before I came unto thee into Egypt, are mine; as Reuben and Simeon, they shall be mine.

Gen 48:13-15 And Joseph took them both, Ephraim in his right hand toward Israel's left hand, and Manasseh in his left hand toward Israel's right hand, and brought them near unto him. 14 And Israel stretched out his right hand, and laid it upon Ephraim's head, who was the younger, and his left hand upon Manasseh's head, guiding his hands wittingly; for Manasseh was the firstborn. 15 And he blessed Joseph, and said, God, before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac did walk, the God which fed me all my life long unto this day,

In Chapter 49 of Genesis, Jacob realizes his true identity as the holder of the birthright and he acts as the agent of God to bless his sons.

Gen 49:25-28 Even by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts, and of the womb: 26 The blessings of thy father have prevailed above the blessings of my progenitors unto the utmost bound of the everlasting hills: they shall be on the head of Joseph, and on the crown of the head of him that was separate from his brethren. … 28 All these are the twelve tribes of Israel: and this is it that their father spake unto them, and blessed them; every one according to his blessing he blessed them.

So we see in the culmination of the book of Genesis that a victory is gained over the serpent and his lie of inherent power and value through personal achievement. Satan sought to wipe out the human race by causing tyrants to walk the earth who had been raised by the daughters of men – those who had accepted the lie of the serpent. God responded by calling Abraham and through many trials and three generations – Jacob is victorious as the overcomer, the one who trusts fully in God and accepts his role as a channel of blessing; one who passes on the sense of worth, value and purpose in a relational family system.

It would be nice to think that Israel lived happily ever after, but in the covenant that God made with Abraham, it was foretold that his descendents would go into slavery. Once again the lie of the serpent would prevail and another coming out would be required. Even as Abraham was called out of Babylon, so his descendents would be called out of Egypt and the family system restored again.